


Pick Me Up

by leakyfountainpen



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-25 22:38:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13222692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leakyfountainpen/pseuds/leakyfountainpen
Summary: Pickup lines always work, right? Or is Percy doing something wrong, because Annabeth certainly doesn't seem to be saying yes...





	Pick Me Up

**Author's Note:**

> For demigodsecretsanta on tumblr. 
> 
> I had no idea there were this many bad pickup lines but I have seen things I cannot unsee

“New Year’s Eve. How about that, Annabeth.”

“What do you want, Jackson?”

“What, I’m not allowed to hide on this balcony? It’s a free country, you know.”

“I know very well that it’s a free country, but why this balcony? It’s not like Piper’s house is lacking in balconies and stairwells.”

“Maybe it’s not where I am, it’s who I’m with.”

“Ha ha, Jackson, again with the pickup lines? They never work, you know. And where do you get them from, Leo?”

“Maybe someday they’ll work. Maybe in the not too distant future.”

<>

“Hello Annabeth, fancy seeing you here.”

“You’ve said that every single time I come in here. One mocha, please.”

“One mocha for Annabae. And a pickup line: do you work here, because I like you a latte.”

“Seeing as you’re the one behind the counter in the apron, I’d say you work here. Goodbye Jackson.”

“You know you love it Annabae!”

“And if I hear you call me that one more time…”

~~~  
“Hey! Hey Annabeth! Wait up!”

“Jackson.”

“Woah, could you sound any more hostile?”

“What do you want?”

“Do you have a Band-Aid?”

“Why do you want one?”  
“Because I scraped my knee falling for you.”

“Oh. Well, in that case, I might have one.”

“Hey! This is Hello Kitty! I know you have Star Wars ones somewhere. Annabeth! Annabeth come back!”

~~~  
“Annabeth, someone’s here to see you!”

“Coming Piper!”

“Hello Annabeth.”

“Piper, why did you let him in?”

“It’s a good one this time.”

“Hit me with your best shot, Jackson.”

“Do you play soccer, ‘cause you’re a keeper.”

“I was captain of the high school team in senior year. You came to every single game. You had an enormous flag that said ‘GO ANNABETH’ in giant pink letters.”

“So… you are a keeper?”

“Goodbye, Jackson. Piper, I thought you said it was a good one.”

“Come on, it was!”

~~~  
“Annabeth Chase, the most beautiful woman in the world.”

“I was enjoying my beach day. Now not so much.”

“I shall only take one second. Do you have a map because -”

“I’m wearing sunglasses. Leave me alone.”

~~~  
“Hey Annabeth. And no, you cannot tell me to leave because this is a wedding we were both invited to.”  
“What do you want, Jackson?”

“Well, for you to buy me a drink.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Because I dropped mine looking at you.”

“Unfortunately for you, your clumsiness is not my responsibility. Also, it’s an open bar.”

“Love you too!”

~~~

"Percy, why are you holding a camera?"

"Can I take a picture with you?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to prove that angels are real."

"Your mantel is covered with pictures of me, mostly stolen from your friends. You really don't need another."

"Not even a selfie?"

"Not even a selfie."

~~~

"Heyyyyy Annabae. That rhymes!"

"Are you drunk?"

"I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you!"

"Nope, definitely drunk. I'd better call someone before you get too out of control."

"But I was having fun!"

"You're certainly not going to be having fun in the morning."

"Will you be there to look after me?"

"I'm not your mother. Now shut up and get in the taxi."

~~~

"You're so beautiful you made me forget my pickup line."

"Thank you, I'm flattered. Although I think you might find the line in the trash where it belongs."

"You wound me!"

"You tire me."

~~~

"Good morning Jackson."

"Good morning Annabeth. Did you know that if I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand?"

"I dunno, Jackson. I'm not that interesting."

"You are a fantastic specimen."

"Thanks, I guess?"

"Anything for you, Annabeth."

~~~

"Annabeth, fancy seeing you here. You're a long way from heaven."

"Actually I think it's just a couple blocks away. Looks kinda seedy though, pretty sure it's a nightclub that doubles as a toddler/parent center."

"Oh god, that place. You could get sick just looking at the counters there."

"I know, right?"

~~~

"If I ever get arrested -"

"Please don't."

"As I was saying, if I ever get arrested, I'll say your name so they have to hold you against me."

"Please don't get arrested just for that."

"Aha! You didn't-"

"Don't you dare."

~~~

"Are you champagne, Annabeth? Because you make me feel all bubbly inside."

"I think that might be your stomach."

"You're probably right. Where's the bathroom?"

"Up the stairs and to your right."

"Thanks."

~~~

"If you were a booger, I'd pick you first."

"How preschool."

"I'm running out of good ones."

"They stopped being good the moment you opened   
your mouth."

"You flatter me."

~~~

"I may not be a genie, but I can make all your dreams come true."

"So, can I have a dragon?"

"A dragon?"

"Yeah, lizard with wings? Breathes fire?"

"I know what a dragon is, I'm just recovering from the fact that you're more awesome than I thought."

"I'm full of secrets, Percy."

~~~

"Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?"

"If you're desperate, which I am, then there are always chickens."

"Aw come on!" 

~~~

"I like Lego, you like Lego, let's build a relationship."

"Actually, I've got this model of the New York Skyline that I've been meaning to build, but I'll probably need help..."

"Heck yeah! I'd love to build New York in Lego with you!"

"Great, see you at mine in 30?"

"I'll be there."

 

"Just the two of us, out here all alone."

"Your point?"

"New Year's kiss."

"Well, I suppose it wouldn't be that much of a hardship to kiss you..."

5 minutes later

"Wow."

"Yeah. Let's do that again."

1 year later

"Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back!"

"We're dating."

"So? Pickup lines are fun."

2 years later 

"See, I told you, Annabeth, four plus four equals eight, but you plus me equals fate!"

"You were right, I guess."

3 years later

"You know, we'd look cute on a wedding cake together."

"Hypothetically?"

"Nope."

"Annabeth Chase, did you just propose to me with a pickup line? I'm so proud."

"So that's a yes?"

"It's a yes."

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://www.underworldystuff.tumblr.com)


End file.
